The Fast Forward Button

I’m so looking forward to a lot of things. I don’t know if this enthusiasm will last me until the end of the year. I hope so.

The things I’m looking forward to…

-the long weekend that’s coming up (a lot of rest, rest, and more rest for me!)
-engagement party of my cousin, She-She (the first in the clan—father side.)
-earning my very first paycheck as a proby employee
-getting regularized as an employee (that’s 6 more months to go for me.)
-my turning a year older (hopefully with many more better things to come…)
-overnight weekend thing with high school friends (happy birthday to Lizsa, Roanne, and Me!)
-celebrating the Christmas season (57 more days to go and counting…)
-family Noche Buenas, gift-giving during Christmas
-Christmas vacation out of the country
-meeting new people
-eating and being healthy (which means no more chocolates)
-planned out of town trip with college friends (I’m crossing my fingers that it’ll push through.)
-getting to work with a lot of great people
-beach outings (if there will be any...)
-getting together with two of my best buddies (I hope they come home soon!)
-working on my resolutions
-the year 2005 (it’s going to be my year…go Roosters!)

A Thing With VIPs

If there’s one thing Bayani Fernando should eliminate in the streets, it’s those politicians and VIP wannabes’ security escorts. I hate the way they speed through their motorcycles cordoning off all the cars that are in their path, stopping traffic right in the middle and letting the supposed VIP pass through. It’s as if they own the roads.

I don’t mind if it’s the President or some high ranking official. But if it’s just some rich businessman or some well known “personality”, then it’s totally a different matter. I don’t think it’s right at all. I don’t care whether they have some important business to attend to, aren’t we all also in the same position? Aren’t we all in a hurry as well?

Just like what happened earlier today in EDSA during rush hour. There was this group of security escorts who had their sirens blaring through the traffic jammed roads. Two policemen in motorcycles literally stopped all the vehicles in the middle of EDSA. Imagine all of the lanes (except for one lane) blocked by just two motorcycles. In trying to let their VIP pass through, they actually caused more traffic. It sucks also when your car becomes the victim of these power tripping policemen banging on the hood signaling you to move out of the way. It sucks even more when it’s a brand new car.

I hope more people will complain so that Bayani Fernando can start responding like he always does. He has been implementing a lot of good projects so far. He’s actually one of the very few government officials who have been really performing his job. I just hope he would not disappoint law-abiding citizens like me and continue to put those good credits under his belt; the banning of security escort thing included.

Free Day Today

I cannot believe the weekend is almost half over again. If only there could be some government memorandum granting a 3 day weekend instead of just the usual 2 days...life would certainly be a whole lot better. I for one have always looked forward to weekends because it gives me time to just rest and relax. I get to do the things that I can’t normally do during weekdays (due to the fact that I’m working all day long). It’s only during Saturdays or Sundays where I get take time off my daily routine.

Take today as an example. I got to work my butt off and start exercising again. Ever since I started working, I have not been able to play badminton or go to the driving range anymore; the two “active” things which I have always loved doing during the days when I still had all the time in the world, which unfortunately I am in dire need of right now. Hehe I have also not been on a treadmill since who knows when, which explains why the scale refuses to budge. Anyway this morning, my sister and I sacrificed extra hours of sleeping time to play badminton at Yellow Feather. We decided we needed a good work out because we felt we were starting to get out of shape ever since we both started working. Sitting all day long even when you’re not munching on anything still isn’t such a good idea after all.

After, my sisters and I had lunch at Gram’s Diner at Rockwell. We were supposed to eat at Crustasia but decided last minute to try the diner instead. Wrong idea. Bad idea. There wasn’t much to praise about the food. Not that it tasted bad…but it didn’t taste that good either. But then I probably shouldn’t be expecting anything since it’s supposed to be just that—your typical diner food.

We went to watch White Chicks after at Powerplant. It was one heck of a laugh trip. I’ve been wanting to watch the movie ever since I saw them on Oprah few months back. The Wayans brothers are funny and cute in some appealing way I can't describe. They top my list right next to Will Smith as far as African-American personalities are concerned. Movies like this usually don’t make me laugh as much, but this one is an exception.

Surprise Surprise

Another week has gone by. Before you know it, it’ll be Christmas time again. How time flies...I don’t know if it’s a good thing though. I don’t want to taste age that fast. I want to savor every minute of it. If only I could postpone next month and still stay 22 for just another year, I would.

Anyway, this week has been a good one for me. I guess starting the week with no expectations have helped a whole lot. Not expecting anything, I got more than my fair share of surprises…nice surprises at that. It’s ironic how when you least expect it, it’s when more pleasant things start to happen. It’s when you’re not looking for it that it finds you…best when you’re off-guard. As strange as it is, it’s true. It happens. It did to me! Work suddenly took a different turn which I must say had “whoopee! yey!!!” with matching "=) !!" written all over it. I’m so happy because I finally have a permanent job. It was only just a few weeks ago when things were filled with doubt and indefiniteness… and now at least there’s some certainty to it already. I don’t know where it will take me though…I don’t want to be bothered by it just yet, well for now anyway. I just want to take one day at a time and enjoy first what I have now.

This is My World

I don’t believe in first impressions. It’s actually quite judgmental to put someone in some category especially after you’d meet the person only for the first time. While I do believe that first impressions can and do make a difference (up to a certain point only), I don’t make it as my sole basis of determining the character or personality of a person.

According to Jane, most people (well I’d like to believe only a few of them) see me as unapproachable at first glance. I learned about this only a couple of days ago...which I can’t fully comprehend until now. It's just too vague for me to understand how this could possibly be so. Jane says the problem could be that I may look intimidating especially to those who don’t know me well enough. As to how or why I look intimidating and unapproachable, I absolutely have no idea. I actually can’t see how or why this could be. I mean my teeth are already hurting from smiling too much. My pride has hit rock bottom already from making a fool out of myself in trying to befriend and catch the attention of whoever’s in front of me. Well technically it’s whoever crosses my path. If these aren’t still enough, then I don’t know what is. I really go out of my way to talk to people. Well not all the time, but I try to as much as I can. Sometimes I also have to see and feel how the other person is reacting right…if you know what I mean. I know I can be a bit timid and quiet at times. But that’s not enough reason for people to mistake it for some other thing. Being quiet doesn’t spell I-N-T-M-I-D-A-T-I-N-G. That’s entirely two different things. As I’ve said, I’m no Wonder Woman who’s always in high energy-high spirits all the time. I can’t be the ‘friend ng bayan’ because I’m not. I can’t be 100% jolly and super friendly all the time because I’m not that either. As Darius Rucker sings it, “This is my world, this is who I am. And I’m not trying to give up myself to make your life better, now. This is how it is, I got my own life to live. And you can either accept me or let me go.”

My Big Appetite

This weekend has been a major eating fest for me. I think I’m bordering close to gluttony. I’ve been eating non-stop…hungry or not hungry. I don’t know where all the extra cravings came from, and to think that I have not been exercising as much…

Take today’s lunch for starters. I had this huge buffet ranging from Italian, Chinese to Japanese. Who wouldn’t go crazy with all the mouth-watering food? I stuffed myself so much that I vowed not to eat anymore for the next three weeks. Yeah right.

But seriously, I better get a start on with this healthy eating thing already. My sister and I have been planning to have this health eating plan which I’ve been postponing since who knows when. It’s actually becoming a routine. Every Sunday, we’d go “Okay we have to start eating healthy on Monday.” Then the whole week goes with us not sticking to the plan, well except for the first couple of days…Weekend comes again, and we’d go “Okay we seriously as in seriously have to start eating healthy already on Monday.” Bad bad bad.

Snooze-Loose Syndrome

There's this great book written by Cindy Chupack (Sex and the City fans would know who she is), which I'm sure many can relate to...here's one excerpt from the book that I find funny but true.

SNOOZE-LOOSE SYNDROME
Definition: The pressure single women face due to the miniscule amount of time a decent guy is actually available; our lamentable ability to put a guy on hold like a sweater.

: Best illustrated with the quote, "She who hesitates is lost."

: The danger here is feeling that dating is like a game of musical chairs, and you better grab a seat--any seat...quick.

I Want My Pie Too

I’ve always wondered which one is better, being quiet and moderately reserved or being noisy and outrageously outgoing. Does being quiet and reserved always have a bad connotation? Does it follow that Type A personalities are usually the ones who get to have the first slice of the pie, if not the whole pie? I’d like to think otherwise. Although come to think of it, this is the case most often than not. Some stereotypes are just hard to break isn’t it?

The standard norm these days is to either stand out or get lost. You would have to be more than just a wallpaper if you want to be noticed and be heard. No matter how good you are, you will inevitably get lost in the crowd if you don’t have the "personality" (or should I say the guts) to show what you’re made of. It’s a man-eats-world out there. I’ll surely be eaten alive when put in a room full of Type A people. I can’t bear to compete with such strong personalities. I usually opt to just stay in the background and observe the power playing-attention grabbing or whatever you’d want to call it, take place in front of me. It's more fun. It’s interesting to see how some people want to be in the limelight and be the only star of the show. Take note, the only star. They want nobody sharing the stage with them. It’s just all about them and nobody else. It’s amusing to see how everyone’s furiously trying to grab the attention of a person or of a situation all at the same time.

I don’t have anything against it. It’s perfectly fine with me. As a matter of fact, I’m not one who is comfortable with the spotlight focused on me. I prefer to always fly under the radar…signal can rather be weak and hard to recognize but it’s there, still worthy to catch anyone’s attention. You just have to look closely enough. I guess it’s safe to say that I’m not extremely shy or am I extremely outgoing. I speak up only when I need to. I’ll definitely give you a piece of my mind if I really really feel bad. I do outrageous stuff when I’m comfortable with it. I can be crazy…“walang hiya” (hehe) if I deem it proper.

But then I’m now realizing that I’m not getting all the pie I want. Sometimes I don’t even get to have my share of the pie. I need to be aggressive and grab the pie as soon as it’s out of the oven. Hehe Maybe I should be outrageously loud and be energetically enthusiastic all the time. Maybe I should be perky and act like I've been drinking 12 bottles of Gatorade or something...and speak up even if I don’t have anything to say. Nah, I don’t think it would work out for me... because it wouldn’t be nice at all.

It Could Be It!

I don’t know if there’s something in the air. I’m feeling somewhat sentimental these past few days. A bit too much for my own good I think. Somebody’s got to bring me back to reality fast. I’m beginning to drift off to dreamland. It had kept me positively up the whole week though (if it’s any consolation)…which is actually quite good. Everything seemed to went by in a breeze as a result. I don’t know if I’m inspired by the recent events or maybe I’m beginning to have peace of mind which has eluded me for quite some time now. Whatever it is, I think it has done me a lot of good.

Inspiration in various forms can indeed be a very pleasant thing to have. Though I don’t think it should be the basis in living out one’s life. You can’t always wait for inspiration to jumpstart your life. You can’t postpone and delay the things you have to do just because of the lack or the need of inspiration. You can’t just sit or stand (whichever you prefer) and wait in vain for it to come. For me, I‘d like to see inspiration as an added bonus...very much like an extra scoop of ice cream on top of my favorite fudge brownie. With or without ice cream, I will still eat it. The same goes for having inspiration—with or without it…I will still continue to live my life in the highest level possible. The inspiration may give me a big jolt or ego boost from time to time, but when it goes…I won’t be sad. Instead I’d be glad that I got the chance to enjoy every minute of it using it positively to my advantage.

HongKong Bridge

I'm excited at the prospect of working with Jane in HongKong. She's now working as a pre-school teacher at Computer Tots. Jane is encouraging me to give it a try. They are currently in need of a replacement. And I think her boss isn't finding any luck of finding someone who can speak English fluently and teach computer at the same time. Aside from getting to teach kids which I have always wanted to do, I think it would be nice to be away from home and be on my own for awhile. It will definitely do me a lot of good, especially with my sheltered life here in the Philippines which sometimes makes me feel so restricted to the point that I just want to hop on the next flight out and get away from everything. Aside from this, here are the following reasons why I think Jane's suggestion could be a gooood idea.

1. Place
What's good about this is that I don't have to worry about the costs and hassles of finding a place to live in because Jane already has a place. I could just pay rent even if Jane has already offered it for free. Hehe

2. Culture
Being a native of HK, Jane already knows everything there is to know about the place. So I would have little, if not no problem at all with regards to being acquainted with the country. Besides, I don't think I would need any adjustments at all since I have more or less the same cultural background.

3. Distance
It's not so far away from home which makes it easier in terms of making the decision to leave, because I know I could always get on the next plane ride if I wanted to...if I get homesick or something.

4. Work
It would be fun to teach kids. It has always been my dream to become a Pre-School teacher. I'm a frustrated teacher wannabe, fyi. Hehe

5. Experience
It will definitely be a one good learning experience for me...enough said.

Though as much as I want to pack my things and go to HongKong, I can't. I have to face reality and stop myself from being carried away. I just started my job at Smart this week. There's no way I'm going to resign in so short a time. My mom would kill me. Hehe I just can't keep on switching jobs at my own whim. I don't want to be fickle minded, constantly doing different things without finishing anything. If I don't stay put then nothing will ever happen right? I have to be more patient. I guess the best thing to do for now is to stay put and just finish the contract. Then maybe after I could start considering the teaching job. Besides I don't even know if I could get the job. For all I know, Jane's boss would not like me at all.

It will be a million times more fun if Krizia decides to leave her job in the US and goes to HK to teach. I could just imagine what it would be like with us three working and living together...But then I know like me, she can't do that too. It's just not realistically possible. Well, maybe it is...possible. Is it?

Lucky Me Pansit

I won! I won! Yey! I won first place in our mooncake thing today. I have been playing since I was 4 years old and it is only now that I have won. I'm so happy not only because of the prize I got but also because I've finally broken the spell when it comes to this type of dice game. You see, I don't really do well in games that require nothing else but pure luck. So please excuse me for my excitement and allow me some minutes to gloat. Hehe Well I hope the winning streak continues.

Incidentally, I was just talking to Nicole and Javi last night. I was telling them that I've never won in any of the dice games I've played ever since I was a kid. I told Javi I would give him the mini-ipod if it was the first prize and that is, if I win. As luck would have it, I won unexpectedly much to my surprise! Too bad, the first prize was not the mini-ipod that I was expecting. Hehe But then I would have given it to Valerie, my sister if it was indeed an Apple because she already asked me if she could have it.

They say the more reds you have in one throw, the more lucky you are. I threw all reds, all six of 'em...And I'm considering it as a very good sign. Call me superstitious, but I'm definitely taking it as God's way of telling me that things will be fine. With all the changes that are happening in my life right now, it puts me more at ease. I don't know why or how, but this win is giving me a sense of comfort with lots of luck to boot... that things will indeed be okay in the end.

Life 101

Due to the culmination of recent events and past events as well, here are the following lessons that had me strongly reaffirming my beliefs on how I view certain things in life.

1. Silence can be your best weapon.
2. Some things are better left unsaid.
3. Pride can be swallowed.
4. I hate controlling and manipulative people.
5. You can’t force people to change their ways or change the way they think.
6. You got to have proof. It’s his or her word against yours.
7. Try and try until you succeed.
8. Life is not perfect. No situation can be perfect. Nobody is perfect.
9. Patience is a virtue.
10. Respect is earned. Trust is earned…and did I say money is earned too?
11. Life is full of ironies.
12. A good attitude is the key to success.
13. Happiness is mostly found in the little things.
14. You can’t have the whole world.
15. Expect less and get lesser disappointments and more satisfaction.
16. Say less, do more.
17. Pain is a fact of life. It can be sweet, bitter, and it hurts real bad.
18. Murphy’s Law is always working at its best.
19. The more you want it, the more you won’t get it.
20. You got to earn it hard, work it hard, play it hard, and live it hard.

Friends

Last night, I had dinner with Jane and the rest of the MISA people at UCC. I guess you could say that it was Jane’s welcome back dinner. She came back from Hongkong last Tuesday to take a short respite from her hectic work, which I think she badly needed. I’m so happy to see her. It’s been more than two months since we’ve last seen each other. Though I don’t really feel her absence that much because we constantly have updates on each other anyway via our weekly digests with Krizia. I had a good time even if we didn’t get to spend the whole night away since we all had work the next day. It is always nice to just talk, have coffee, and catch up on things with friends. It’s funny how I am beginning to value more the friendships I have now. It’s not that I don’t before, but it’s just that I’m beginning to value them more than ever now. With school being over and each one of us already off to our own separate ways, I don’t know…but I’m beginning to miss the company. Yeah, people would probably be surprised to hear me saying this, but I really do. I find it sad when some friendships cannot withstand the change…seeing the many years that it took to build the relationship all going to waste. I believe effort and communication is important. Without it, the friendship will not be able to survive, much less thrive successfully. I may have lost touch with a couple of good friends, but I’m glad I still get to maintain the friendships I have with some of my closest friends now.

Speaking of close friends, I find it hard these days to be friends with anyone. When I say friends, I mean it in the truest sense of the word FRIEND. Not acquaintance. Not colleague or associate…but someone whom you can be comfortable with and call as your sister or brother…your confidant, your partner in crime, your best friend. Meeting new people is easy. But it’s what you do after the usual “Hi’s”, “Hello’s”, and “Nice to meet you’s” that’s really more important. Most of the time, I meet different kinds of people some of whom I see everyday, while some whom I rarely get to see, and even some whom I get to meet that day only and will never get to see ever again. Yes, they’re nice and friendly. But that’s all there is to it. By the end of the day, they’re just mere faces in a sea of strangers. You don’t know the story of their lives...and sometimes the hell you care right? You don’t know what’s going on their minds. You don’t know their problems. You know nothing. Nada. Nill. Zilch. There are quite a number of interesting people who have crossed my path but whom I never got the chance to know and be friends with and for that matter, to even know their names. I don’t know if it was because of the circumstances during that time or perhaps the lack of courage needed to follow through on it. Whatever reason it is, I regret those missed chances. Now I understand why they say true friends are like diamonds…rare, hard to find, and priceless.